Bullying. It has become a buzzword today.
As we send our children off to another school year, it is one of our biggest concerns as parents. Will our child be bullied? Will they have to face a bully from last year? Will they be the bully?
We pray the answer is “no” to all those questions, but the fear and anxiety cling to us and sometimes our kids.
The remedy to fear is to focus our eyes on Jesus.
In the book Prince Caspian by C. S. Lewis, there is a scene where Peter, Susan, Edward, Lucy, and a dwarf are struggling through woods and gullies to reach Prince Caspian and his army. The first time Lucy spots Aslan the lion everyone ignores her and refuses to follow since they can’t see him. After a wasted day of sliding down hills and running for their lives, they lay down in an exhausted sleep.
That night Aslan visits Lucy again and encourages her to follow, even if the others do not. She runs to wake her siblings and the dwarf, and they finally trust her enough to follow. Aslan leads them through gorges and down cliffs, but when Lucy places her eyes on Aslan the fear melts away. Her focus is on him alone and in following him the little group finally reaches their goal and finds Prince Caspian.
The same can be said of us and our children. The path through problems with bullying can seem long and hard. We’re not sure which way to turn or what to do. But when we pray and ask for discernment, God is happy and willing to answer.
James 1:5 says, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking” (NLT).
So let’s ask!
When I have taken the time to ask, often God has led me to one of three ways to handle the situation.
1. Equip my child
Sometimes we need to equip our child to pray for the other child, ask a teacher for help, or stand up to or ignore the bully. Most bullies are not inherently mean children. Often there is something going on in their home or heart that is leading them to act out that way. Having our kids pray for the other child can teach them empathy in hard situations and telling a teacher can sometimes get the bully they help they need to overcome their hurt.
2. Go to the school
Sometimes equipping our child to handle the situation without our help isn’t enough. There have been several times I’ve needed to go to the school and intervene myself. If you feel God is leading you in this direction, please remember you are His child and represent Him in every encounter. James also says, “But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.” (3:17, NLT). Go to the school with your facts and tell them what is going on and ask for what you feel is best for your child. But please do it respectfully. Remember you and your school leaders are on the same team and are working for the best for both children involved.
3. Remove my child
There will be times when these first two ideas don’t work. The situation is too big for our kids to handle on their own, and the school is either unable or unwilling to do anything. You may need to pray and consider other education options for your child. This has been one of the surprise blessings of Covid. In many states, it has made quality online education available or encouraged parents to give real homeschooling a try. (Yes, I say “real” because the accidental “homeschooling” we all did in spring 2020 is not homeschooling). God may be leading your family in an alternative education direction and your job is to follow, even if you’re the only one.
No matter where you feel God is leading you and your family, remember to bathe the situation in prayer. It begins and ends on our knees. Different seasons of life call for different solutions. The only way to know what is best for your child in this season is to bring the situation to God in prayer.
